Arfaan and Sadia adopted three brothers through the Early Permanence route to adoption

Here they talk about their journey…

“When we first started our adoption journey through the Concurrent Planning Service, now known as Early Permanence, we were filled with excitement. We became carers to a beautiful baby boy we affectionately called Popcorn. Right from the start, we were told he would likely become a permanent part of our family. But after 13 months, he was reunited with members of his birth family.

Letting go of Popcorn was one of the hardest things we’ve ever had to do. We loved him so much, and even though we knew this was a possibility, saying goodbye broke our hearts. We struggled emotionally and even questioned if we could go through the process again. There were moments of doubt and a lot of tears! But with the love and encouragement of our amazing family, we found the strength to try again.

A few months after Popcorn left, we decided it was time to start again, we knew we wanted a family and we know this was the right thing to do. Just before Christmas, we approached our agency and scheduled a meeting for January.  When we met, our Social Worker talked to us about a sibling group of two children who had been in foster care since May. Their birth mother was also expecting another baby. Initially, we were approved for the two children, but our Social Worker asked if we would consider all three children – they knew we had a loving and supportive family around us and that we had the space. After discussions with our family, it was a unanimous yes! It was important to us that these three children were brought up together.  We went back to panel and were approved for 3 children.

Things moved quickly after that. The boys joined our family in early August, and the baby arrived in April. It was a whirlwind of emotions, adjustments, and joy, but we were never alone in this journey. Living in a multigenerational household meant that support was always there for us. We have parent’s living with us and siblings who live close by too. This incredible network made everything feel possible. We also had the support of our agency, who were there with us every step of the way.

Adopting our three beautiful boys has been one of the most rewarding experiences of our lives. Even though they came to us at different times, their bond is nothing short of magical. They have their own unique personalities and they love each other unconditionally. Watching them play, laugh, and even argue like typical brothers brings so much joy to our lives.

One of our favourite moments is seeing them support each other at school. Despite being in different year groups, they always look out for one another. It’s such a comfort to know they have each other’s backs no matter what.

Another beautiful thing is how they help each other with homework. Sometimes, the older ones take on the role of little teachers, helping their younger brother with his work. Of course, there are moments of sibling rivalry, arguing over toys, who gets the last biscuit, or what to watch on TV, but within minutes, they’re best friends again.

Parenting three little boys comes with its challenges. There are days when the house feels like total chaos, and balancing everyone’s needs and moods can be exhausting. But we are blessed with love and an incredible family to support us and we make it work.

One of the biggest challenges has been making sure each child feels special and valued as an individual. We make a conscious effort to spend one to one time with each of them, whether it’s reading bedtime stories, doing arts and crafts, or just having a chat about their day at school.

It is a juggling act, but having our extended family living with us and close by gives us extra hands to help with meals, bedtime, and playtime, which makes all the difference.

To anyone considering adoption, we would say – go for it! Adoption is a journey full of ups and downs, but the love and joy it brings are beyond anything you can imagine…in a positive way! Surround yourself with a strong support network, stay patient, and trust the process.

If you’re thinking about adopting brothers and sisters, we would say it’s one of the most beautiful decisions you can make. The bond they share is a gift, and giving them the chance to stay together in a loving home is truly special. If you have the space, the energy, and the love to give, it’s absolutely worth it.

Looking back, we feel so blessed to have our three little ones. The road wasn’t easy, but every challenge, every late-night cuddle, and every giggle and fun-filled day has made it all worthwhile. We wouldn’t change a single thing!”

Arfaan and Sadia adopted through the Early Permanence route with The North West Concurrent Planning Service, a service delivered in partnership from 2014 to 2024 by Adoption Matters and Caritas Care, placing 187 children in early permanence placements.