It’s shocks me that in 2024 children are waiting for long periods of time for adoption because they have brothers and sisters, are over the age of 4 and can be seen as ‘too old’ or have some additional needs.
Why is this?
The impact on these little people at such a young age as they start on their life’s journey is huge and the affects can leave a lasting effect into adulthood. I know, I’m one of them!
So, I want to talk to you about brothers and sisters.
I was brought up with my birth mum, adoptive dad and sister 3 years younger than me. She is my half sister, but I have never looked at it that way. She is my sister full stop and I could not imagine life without her. Yes, we argue and have had many fall-outs over the years – wow have we fought! Nevertheless, we always come back together again as we both know we can’t be without each other really!
My sister is a co-author of our childhood memories, we know each other’s secrets, and we have been there throughout our life’s ups and downs. We’ve shared moments of joy and laughter and also comforted each other in moments of great sadness. We simply aren’t who we are without each other!
In 2015, I found out that I had another sister and a brother on my birth father’s side. I met them, they were lovely, but they were strangers really. We didn’t know each other. We keep in touch and meet up occasionally, but my feelings and my sibling bond is stronger with the sister who I have spent my whole life with – she knows me, I know her and we share a life’s worth of stories. We’ve been through everything together!
But this makes me sad.
What if I’d met my brother and sister sooner?
Would I have the relationship with them that I have with the sister I’ve spent my whole life with?
I will never know…
My own experiences have made me consider, what would it be like if the only constant in my life, the person I have shared so many things with, was suddenly taken away from me to go and live a life with another family when we were little. Devastating!
Three years ago my mum was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. This ripped me and my sister apart and brought us together in equal measure. It has been tough. However, we have got through it together and couldn’t have done it without each other.
This is what it means to be a sibling.
They belong together to tackle life’s ups and downs and to share in laughter and despair – it’s their shared story and they should not have to go it alone. That history and understanding is so important.
If you are considering adoption, consider adopting brothers and sisters. They are waiting a long time to find that family they can share and call their own.
L x
