Adopting Jasper Through Early Permanence: Laura and Sandra’s Journey

Adopting Jasper through ‘early permanence’ was best decision

Laura and Sandra are thankful every day for the family life they have created.

The couple, from Whitley Bay, welcomed their daughter Leona via IVF ten years’ ago, and then decided to adopt.

Their little boy Jasper, now five, joined them when he was just three days old after they chose to foster him through early permanence – where families foster a baby or child with the hope of then adopting them.

“We always knew we wanted a brother or sister for Leona, but decided not to have any more IVF,” said Laura, a solicitor.

“We had a space in our family for another child, so it seemed clear that adoption was the right option for us. Why would we not want to parent someone who needed parenting?”

The couple, who have been together for more than 20 years, got in touch with their local adoption agency and began the training sessions to prepare for adoption.

Due to work and parenting commitments, Laura and Sandra attended the sessions separately, and found them more helpful than they imagined.

“The idea of adoption felt daunting to me in the very beginning,” said Sandra.

“I had a grown-up family from my previous relationship, and we had Leona together, and adoption seemed very different.

“Doing the sessions let me process everything in my own time and allowed me to think through all the information we were being given. It built my confidence, and I started to appreciate why adoption was right for us.”

After being approved, the couple asked to have a child placed with them through the early permanence programme, previously known as foster-to-adopt.

The programme is where people who are looking to adopt agree to foster a baby or child, with the hope that they can go on to officially adopt them.

There are many benefits to early permanence, but key is that the child is immediately fostered by people who would like to become their parents and carers for life – meaning greater stability for the child, less moving from one home to another, and less disruption.

Early permanence also enables the bonding process between the child and adoptive parents to begin much earlier.

There can be an element of uncertainty in that the courts may decide that it’s in the baby’s best interests for them to be placed back with his or her birth parents, but adoption agencies give full training and support to carers to understand and manage the situation. They also provide as much information about the circumstances as possible beforehand.

“We were keen to be part of our child’s life from as early as possible, so early permanence seemed right,” said Laura.

“We did think about the element of uncertainty, but we thought the advantages of early permanence for the child, and for us, made it very worthwhile. Fostering a child, with the hope of adopting them, would provide greater stability to them, and we could begin to bond with them straight away. We knew the courts would ultimately have to do what was right for the child, but we had faith in the system.

“Just a week after being approved, we were told about an unborn child who needed to be fostered from birth, with the option to adopt. After learning as much as we could about the circumstances, it was easy to say ‘yes’.”

Jasper was brought to their home when he was just three days old, and Leona was the first to give him cuddles. He was healthy and content.

“He was just gorgeous,” said Sandra. “He totally completed our family.

“Leona was included from the beginning, and she has doted on him ever since. He was a happy baby, and he is still sunshine on legs – he brings so much joy to us.”

Laura added: “We were able to officially adopt Jasper after about ten months, which was wonderful.

“He has always been adored and loved by everyone. The fact he’s adopted has never made any difference. We feel really lucky.”

The couple encouraged other people to consider adoption and early permanence.

Laura added: “Fostering Jasper first through the early permanence programme was the best decision we could have made. We were able to bond with him straight away, and it meant he didn’t have to go to another foster carer before being adopted by us. It was less disruption for him. We are all he knows.

“We have pictures and memories from those first days that we can share with him, and we have been able to shape him and bond with him very easily. The benefits of early permanence to the child are huge, but they are great for you, too.”

Leona, ten, said she couldn’t imagine life without her brother. They are very close.

“Sometimes people might think that biology makes you a family, but Jasper could not be more ours,” she said. “We couldn’t love him any more than we do.”

To find out more about Early Permanence Adoption HERE