Rachel and Michael adopted Becky when she was 3 ½ years old. Here they talk about their journey…
“When my partner Michael and I first explored adoption, we wanted to find an agency that felt right for us. We’d contacted another agency, but had multiple appointment cancellations and we became very frustrated, so we decided to explore other options. Turning to Google, we discovered Caritas Care and from our first telephone conversation everything ran smoothly. The team was efficient, reliable, and provided excellent preparation and support throughout the process.
This was just after COVID when everything was mostly online, so our initial information session was virtual. We attended an event where social workers spoke to us, alongside an adoptive parent who shared their experience. This gave us all the information we needed, and after that, we made a follow-up call to say, “Yes, this is something we want to pursue.” From then on, we were assigned our social worker, Alison, and the whole process was well-organised and transparent.
We knew the assessment process would be intense, and it was, but for all the right reasons. When you’re looking to adopt a child, it’s essential that everything is scrutinised to ensure you’re the right fit. We got to know Alison very well, and she got to know us. She guided us through very personal conversations, helping us reflect and prepare. Though emotional at times, the structured approach made it manageable. From background checks to in-depth interviews, every step reassured us that we were on the right path.
When it came time for the panel, we felt well prepared. Alison had done an incredible job preparing us, even coming to our home for the panel meeting while the external panel members joined online. Throughout the process, we always felt like Alison and the team were walking alongside us. Whenever we had concerns or questions, she was always there, whether by phone, email, or in person during our regular visits. It was reassuring to know we were never alone in this journey. We were so happy to be approved for one child aged 0 – 4 years, although we had expressed that our preference was for an older child. Having been around pregnancy my whole career, I felt I had experienced pregnancy and childbirth enough and had no personal desire to go through it myself. We wanted to be parents, and as we learned more, we became open to adopting an older child, which felt more comfortable for us. Our daughter was three and a half when she came home, which felt right for our family.
Adopting an older child meant we had to be prepared for any trauma they had experienced. Initially, the preparation we received was general, but once we were matched, we got detailed information about our daughter’s specific history and needs. Everything we had learned in training became real, and while it was emotional and challenging, it was also reassuring to recognise behaviours and understand that they were part of her healing process.
Preparation from Caritas Care and the Therapeutic Intervention Service (TIS) has been invaluable. Filial therapy helped us connect through play and post-adoption courses provide us with guidance on discussing her past. The ongoing preparation and support network has been (and will continue to be) a lifeline as our daughter grows and understands more about where she came from and her own identity.
Despite challenges, the rewards are immeasurable. Our daughter is full of life – singing, dancing, and chatting! Seeing her adapt, learn, and thrive has been our greatest joy. Even difficult moments, like learning to manage overwhelming emotions, have strengthened our bond and we feel we have been fully prepared and trained by Caritas Care for such moments.
Having the team always at the end of the phone to talk to, whether it’s to sound off, seek reassurance, or ask for advice is something that we are very grateful for.
If you’re considering adoption, do it. The journey is intense, but you will be prepared every step of the way. Adoption isn’t just about giving a child a home, it’s about creating a stable and loving family. And for us, the greatest joy is knowing that one day, our daughter will truly believe she is safe, loved, and home for good.”
Rachel and Michael, Mummy and Daddy to their lovely daughter Becky.
